My train of thought (posted Feb) was derailed for a couple months, hopefully now it is on track. If you recall, I’ve been working on my idioms, and the idiom I was working on before the derailment was: My frame of reference. So, I’m thinking about my frame of reference and I’m thinking about my life. My new life in a broken, divided nation. So here it goes, one word at a time.
Everyone has a frame of reference. Everyone. Without it, life doesn’t make sense. We “frame” what we deem important and we focus on what we frame. If you think about it, without a frame of reference, how do we choose, in the vastness of this world, what thoughts, ideas and values matter. We live in a big world with lots of ideas. Many of these ideas are diametrically opposed. They can’t all be true. So we need a frame of reference to separate the good and bad ideas, the good and bad thoughts. Because the ideas and thoughts we end up with will affect everything that we do.
Generally, the way the word “frame” is used in this idiom is to “frame” a picture. A frame causes us to focus on what is framed. It denotes importance.
But there is another way the word “frame” is used. When people ask me what I do, usually say I’m a builder or a contractor, and I am. But at the core, I am actually a framer. That’s what I loved about my vocation. Though I have never framed a picture, I have framed lots of houses. I can remember how I loved the beginning of a framing job. A freshly poured foundation and a couple truckfulls of lumber sitting there. It was like I was going to Disneyland. And after a couple of days or a couple of months (depending on the size of the project) a house was framed. Everything that becomes a house hangs from that frame. It defines the rooms, it defines the house. Man, it is a powerful metaphor when you’re talking about a life. Your frame of reference defines your “house”, it defines your life.
The second word of this idiom is more important than the first. Reference. What are we referring to? That is how we decide what is good. A frame of reference is similar to a worldview. You might say it is built upon your worldview. Your worldview is what you are referring to, it is your reference. Your worldview paints a landscape, your frame of reference paints the details.
If you’re wondering, I am conservative. There is no way around it. I am a conservative. And my frame of reference is definitely conservative. I’m not sure how that happened. I’m wondering if I was created this way? Some of my friends are more liberal. Their frame of reference is way different than mine.
I guess the most important word in this idiom is “my”. My frame of reference.
My “frame” is different from yours. I’ll say it again, my frame of reference is different from yours. Your frame of reference is different from mine. That’s the problem, isn’t it? Is it a blessing or a curse, that my ideas and thoughts are different from yours.
What a stark example happened during president Trump’s address to the congress last month. Half of the people had so drastically different ideas that they couldn’t clap for a child who has a brain tumor. I guess, politics is politics, but still, what a stark contrast. So I’m thinking about this, is it a curse or a blessing that half of the nation “frames” different things? Half of them!
It is weird to me anyways, how evenly divided our nation is. Half the people are basically conservative and half are basically liberal. Half and half. Trump’s win isn’t a landslide, He won the popular vote by three percent. That’s what happens. Back and forth with a couple of percentage points to make a new president. We are evenly split.
I want to say it is an aberration, that people come to different conclusions than I do. But it isn’t, 50-50 is not an aberration. I want to say half the people are just wrong but I can’t because I respect the people I know who are more liberal. The people I don’t know. Well I guess I can lump them together and call them names. But that doesn’t work. It just makes the divisions wider.
Man, flipping back and forth between the extremes doesn’t work, somehow we need to meet in the middle. If we don’t, half of the people will be angry. Right now, I am not angry, but half of the people are. As I think about it, half of my adult life I have been angry. Well not angry, I’m not an angry guy, maybe disgruntled is a better fit. Starting with Carter (4 yrs), Reagan (8 yrs), Bush 1 (4 yrs), Clinton (8 yrs), Bush 2 (8yrs), Obama, (8 yrs), Trump (4 yrs), Biden (4 yrs). 24 years under conservative presidents, 24 years under liberal presidents. Half and half. Half and half!
There is a well known proverb, Iron sharpens iron. It generally means, two people in relation can benefit each other by an honest exchange of ideas. Iron sharpens iron. Although sparks will fly, people become sharper.
Tip O’Neill was a dyed in the wool true blue democrat. He was the Speaker of the House in a time very similar to our time. President Carter’s policies were not working, and people wanted change. So they voted for new leadership and they elected Ronald Reagan. Reagan was definitely conservative. Reagan on the conservative side of the aisle, Tip O’Neill on the liberal side of the aisle. Somehow they worked together to usher in a new prosperity. And Tip and Ronald became friends. Iron sharpens iron.
Fast forward 40 years to Donald Trump and Nancy Pelosi. What a difference, I’m thinking about that scene during one of Trump’s State of the Nation addresses where Nancy Pelosi stood up and defiantly ripped apart her copy of the speech and stormed off. It sorta cracks me up, it was like we are back in junior high, but more than that, it breaks my heart.
It breaks my heart that there is no give and take, no exchanging of ideas, nothing but calling each other names. I realize, back in the day, I would attack the beliefs of others. I guess as a way to bolster my beliefs. One of the perks of getting older and wiser is being secure enough in my beliefs to open the door to think about yours without malice.
I found an interesting quote from Blaise Pascal (1623-1662).
“There are then a great number of truths, both of faith and of morality, which seem contradictory and which all hold good together in a wonderful system. The source of all heresies is the exclusion of some of these truths;….. And it generally happens that, unable to conceive the connection of two opposite truths, and believing that the admission of one involves the exclusion of the other, they adhere to the one, exclude the other, and think of us as opposed to them. All err the more dangerously, as they each follow a truth. Their fault is not in following a falsehood, but in not following another truth.”
It was written specifically about the predestination free-will debate, but it seems to fit well when we are talking about the divide in our country. So, I’m thinking about this. I wonder if conservatives have half the truth, and liberals have half the truth. But we are unfortunately unable to conceive the connection of two seemingly “opposite” truths. I’m so certain about the truths that frame my life, but I’m not sure about yours.
What if we are only able to grasp half of the truth. What if to present the whole truth we need each other. You with your half and me with mine. It would not be unlike God to create us that way. We have male and female, completely different. But also perfectly complementary. We have liberals and conservatives with two distinctly different ways of looking at the world. Maybe with each side having only half of the truth? Maybe the only way that these distinctly different viewpoints can convey truth is in concert.
In concert. Yeah, it’s been a long time since our nation went to a “concert”, but here’s hoping.
Blaise said the problem isn’t The truths we espouse, but the “truths” we rail against. The truths I espouse ring forth almost effortlessly because they frame my life. But just deriding those who think differently is a problem for me because I love truth. Not just my half, but all of it.
I realize, as I am rebuilding my life, the foundation is secure, and my worldview is rock solid, my frame of reference has changed some and what hangs from the frame is in need of some work. Working on what hangs on a frame? Man, that is a great story about a house I framed, got ruined, and was rebuilt. But I’m already way over my self imposed 1000 word limit. Maybe next month?
Thanks again, Karl, for cutting to the heart of the matter of what divides people. Aunt Thelma