A New Day

I have been working on a post for a couple weeks, but it has not come together.  Lots of ideas, but nothing concrete. I like to work through my thoughts by writing about them. But that didn’t happen this time. So, I am turning the page on a couple of weeks writing, I am starting over with a blank page.

There is something about turning a new page.  I remember closing the books every year with my business, it was soothing.  All of the decisions, all of the things that went right, the mistakes that happened, did I make money, did I lose money, all of it, reduced to a profit and loss statement.  All the files are refiled and stored and the books are closed.  And there in their place, a new profit and loss ready to be filled, and new files, labeled and ready to be used.  It felt like the world was ready to be conquered. That’s how I usually spent the week between Christmas and New year’s.  Getting ready for the new year. It was cathartic.

Today I measure my time differently, not in years or months or even weeks, but in days. I can think about the last year in retrospect, but to think about the future, the coming year, not so much.  I don’t know if it is because it is unknown. That is true for everyone. But for me, the unknown is a certainty. I don’t know if I will be able to do what I want to do today.  Every day is predicated on how I feel that day. 

Or maybe because it can be a bit overwhelming, thinking about the future with my broken body, thinking about my thoughts stuck in my head trying to get out. Anyways, I have been living my life day by day.  It is different, for sure. But it works, I can cope with life day by day. 

Every day, bad or good, the books are closed.  And every day begins anew. 

I love the story in the bible of creation. There is so much there. In a couple verses, God created light. Light was separated from darkness.  And then this, 

God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.  Genesis 1.5

And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.  God created the day, and that last thing he created on that first day was morning. And from that day, evening and morning have given us bite-sized chunks of life. 

I know in the bible the day begins and ends at sunset.  Today we mark the beginning of the day at midnight.  But I like the way God said it.  There was evening, and there was morning—the first day. There is a saying about the “first day of the rest of your life.”  That first day….of the rest of my life. And it starts in the morning. God said let there be light and it shined in the darkness so that we aren’t stuck in the night.

I follow on Facebook a woman named Maia Mikhaluk who lives in Ukraine and posts about the war. She usually begins with something like this: The 85th night of the war is coming, and then she posts what’s going on. It is powerful stuff. To equate war with night is smart, it creates a tone, a bleakness, a heaviness. I am glad she does that, portraying the horror of war.

But I have a choice, the night is there, the war in my body rages on. But there is also a new morning.   A new day.  And I’m thankful for this day. God has provided what I need, he has given me enough for this day. He has done that every day since my stroke.

I love mornings.  Sitting on my porch welcoming the day. Thinking about life, reading my bible, listening to God’s words, experiencing his presence. I like the morning. It gives me what I need for the day. 

Like manna, which was God’s plan to provide for his people on their journey. And miraculously it showed up every morning, it lasted until the next morning and it was enough for the day.  And then, a new morning and more manna.  That is something new for me. I have never wanted for my daily bread, my pantry was stocked up, my life has been busy. I was happy to fill up the tank when I needed to.  No problem, slip in a credit card, there is money in the bank. 

But that is not happening anymore. Obviously, it’s a metaphor, I still have enough money for gas, there is food in the pantry. But my life needs daily sustenance. The journey God has given me has been day by day, morning by morning. Manna has shown up every day. 472 times so far. And it has been enough. Like Jeremaih, who was in a bad place, and he was lamenting, but then in the midst of his lament, this beautiful verse. 

This I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope. Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.         Lamentations 3.21-23 

Your compassions never fail.

They are new every morning.

Great in your faithfulness